


Shattered Dreams

by Jentrevellan



Series: Reilyn Surana [3]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Awkward Crush, Bad Dreams, Darkspawn, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Grey Warden Secrets, Mutual Pining, POV Alistair, Pre-Relationship, Realization, mainly fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-14
Updated: 2018-01-14
Packaged: 2019-03-04 20:49:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13372812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jentrevellan/pseuds/Jentrevellan
Summary: Prompt for 'falling asleep on the other's lap'... Alistair wakes from a Warden dream and discusses it with the new Warden, Reilyn Surana.





	Shattered Dreams

The dreams that haunted them were sudden and swift. 

One moment, Alistair dreamt of summer, the smell of wildflowers filled his nose, the sun warm on his face, a pleasant trickle of sweat on his brow. And a vision of a woman just out of reach walking before him. She turned around but he couldn’t see her face, yet her arms were open wide, welcoming and inviting. His chest felt light and he knew that _this_ is what true happiness was when a trickle of her laughter fell from her lips. He chuckled in response, running to catch up, but she was always just out of his grasp, fingers reaching for nothing. 

The perfect vision before him faded away, slowly at first. She evaporated before him, his hands grasping air. Confused, he looked around, the warm sun fading, the smell of summer vanishing. 

The beat of the drums changed everything. 

Spinning on the spot, Alistair found himself in plunged into shadow and surrounded by an army of darkspawn so vast, he was swallowed up whole. Genlocks, hurlocks and the like took no notice; passing through him as if he were a ghost. His blood ran cold, turning to ice each time it happened; numbing his senses. Once more he turned, hoping to return to the summer scene again, but was in vain when he saw the inevitable sight flying across the red sky. The dragon swooped above him, fixing its deadly gaze on him, rooting him to the spot. 

Although terrifying, it’s a vision Alistair had become used to experiencing, since before Ostagar. But this dream was different; the setting somehow new, but familiar. It was with a stark realisation that he found himself recognising the sights of Lothering - except that it was in ruins, and not quite the sweet but tired little town he remembered. The darkspawn gut out Lothering like a swarm of maggots devouring a rotting corpse; greedy and relentless.

He’s not alone with the darkspawn.

A figure stood beside him, arms wrapped around her as if cold. She looked up, staring at the Archdemon circling them in the sky, yet Alistair’s gaze is fixed on her and he wondered: is this _the_ woman from his previous dream, the one laughing and reaching out? The thought unsettled him, as his dreams had never truly crossed over before. Lightning brightened the red sky for a moment, and Alistair swallowed a gulp when recognised her - the new Warden. Her long ashen hair flew around her face, her mouth open a fraction and eyes wide as they watched the beast high above them. 

Without looking at him, her hand reached out, and he grasped it in return, linking their fingers, a warm sensation swelling his chest. _Yes, this is worth fighting for_ , he thought, unable to tear his gaze from her upturned face. _This is why we do what we do._  

* * *

Rather than wake with a start, Alistair came to from his dream slowly. Any other dream of the darkspawn had him gasping for air, dry retching and skin cold with sweat. But this time he felt the warmth in his chest keep those fears at bay. A normal headache that accompanied him was still present and persistent as ever, but he found it somewhat more dulled than usual. 

Through the canvas of the tent, he saw the warm glow of the campfire, concluding that it must still be the night. He stood, stretched and poked his head out of the tent. Leliana day by the fire, sharpening her arrows but otherwise keeping a silent vigil. He threw on a shirt and breeches, not bothering with his armour, although habit forced him to attach his short sword to his hip, just in case.

“I’ll take over if you like,” Alistair said, approaching Leliana and sitting next to her on the log by the fire. 

She glanced at the sky. “I've got a few more hours of my watch left,” she replied with a frown.

“Honestly, I don’t think I’ll be getting much more sleep tonight,” he shrugged, offering a lopsided smile. 

Her eyes narrowed. “Hmm, if you say so. I wonder-”

She was cut off when they both heard a scream coming from another tent. Leliana swiftly stood and nocked an arrow just in case but Alistair shook his head. 

“It’s alright - I’m guessing Reilyn had the same dream I did.” 

Leliana looked between him and the tent before relaxing when Reilyn herself stepped out. He couldn’t help but watch as the mage pulled her long ashen hair into a loose, messy bun, her delightful pointed ears peeking through the strands. 

“You like her, no?” The bard said in a low voice.

_Yes_ , but Alistair didn’t give Leliana an answer as Reilyn looked across at them to see them watching her. She smiled hesitantly before slowly walking towards them, her arms wrapped around her shoulders like they had been in his dream. 

“I didn’t wake you both, did I?” She asked apologetically. 

“No, no,” Alistair said quickly, getting to his feet to greet her. “I was just relieving Leliana of her watch.” 

Leliana looked at Alistair knowingly and offered a small smile. “Indeed - I shall see you both in the morning.”

Reilyn bade Leliana goodnight and sat down on the log next to where Alistair stood. In a moment of uncertainty, he found himself looking at her - properly looking at her small mouth, her thick lashes, the smattering of light freckles on her nose and cheeks. It dawned on him that the woman just out of reach in his dream before it went dark _was_ her. 

“If there’s something on my face, I’d rather you tell me than stare,” she mumbled with a small smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes.

He blinked before he scratched his head and elected to sit on the grass beside her. That way, there would be less temptation to accidentally bump knees or touch her, as much as he may want have wanted to. 

“Hmm? Sorry - just thinking about the dream,” he said smoothly. He silently praised himself for his quick thinking. 

She sighed, not needing to ask about what dream he’s referring to. “Me too. I never expected they would be this vivid and exhausting. You saw the archdemon too?”

“Yes… although this dream was different… somehow…” Alistair trailed off, avoiding her gaze. Suddenly the grass beneath his fingers was much more interesting to look at than in her cool blue eyes. 

An awkward silence fell between them, which he was reluctant to break. Instead, she leaned closer - so close he could smell her hair. It was at this inappropriate moment that Alistair thought she smelt of roses. 

“But it was different…?” Reilyn prompted.

_You. I saw you there,_ he wanted to say. Maker’s breath, all of a sudden there were a _lot_ of things he wanted to say to her. Instead, he shrugged. “Usually these dreams are in a place indistinguishable, or perhaps the Deep Roads. But this time it was Lothering.”

She nodded sagely. “I had a similar dream - well it was in Lothering too. I’ve not had many of these visions so I didn’t think anything of it… I assumed it’s because that’s where we were and that’s probably where they are now,” she concluded, speaking more to herself than to him.

“Hmm,” he replied, wracking his brains for something to say, but all he could think of was her closeness to him and that if he turned his head towards her, his head could rest very easily on her knee. “They leave cracking headaches though, don’t they?” He eventually said, inwardly cringing at his clumsy words. _Maker, why was it so hard to even talk to her?_

“I’ve noticed,” Reilyn replied. “Although it’s handy being a mage.” 

“Oh? How so?” 

“I can soothe them with my magic,” she explained. “It takes minimal effort but works effectively. Here - let me try it on you.” 

His muscles tensed as she slid off the log to sit beside him, their thighs touching ever so slightly. 

“Oh, I, err,you don’t have to-“ he began but she shook her head.

“It’s no trouble,” she smiled. “Just sit in front of me.” 

He reluctantly complied and moved as she bid, ignoring the quiet glee in the back of his mind.

“Alright, now lie back, so your head is on the ground by my knees.” 

Once again, Alistair agreed and lay back on the ground, facing the stars. _Alright, this is okay_ , he thought. _I won’t have to look at her from here_. 

She leaned forward, her face completely in his view. _Well, shit._

“Perfect,” she grinned. “Ok, I’m going to put my hands on your temples - just say if you want me to stop.” 

_Never_ , he thought, swallowing a gulp. “Okey dokey,” he said instead.

Reilyn leaned back so he was gazing up at the stars again, his heart hammering. As her cool fingertips touched either side of his head, he forced his breathing to slow as he was certain that she would be able to feel the thudding of his heart and the effect she had on him. 

“Hmm, you feel really warm,” she observed quietly, almost to herself. “I hope you’re not coming down with a fever?” 

_No, just love-sick_. He resisted the urge to laugh at his own madness. _What could be more romantic than a Blight with daily death and destruction?_

“Probably just the heat of the fire,” he replied, though that was an absurd answer as the campfire was low and dim.  

If Reilyn noticed she said nothing but continued to press her fingers to his head. As much as Alistair was enjoying the whole situation and the innocent intimacy of it all, he was incredibly uncomfortable.  

“Everything alright?” She asked quietly. 

_You have no idea._ “I, ah, think there’s a rock under my head - not the comfiest pillow in the world, though I’ve slept on worse.” And there he was, making lame jokes again. 

Her reply surprised him. “Oh! Well shift up a bit and you can rest your head on my lap instead.” 

Alistair hesitated. “I...” 

“Let me just cross my legs... ok I’m all ready.” 

He sat up on his elbows and glanced at her over his shoulder. “I’m err... I’ve got a heavy head,” he said, trying to smile, ignoring the tightness in his chest. 

The corners of her lips twitched and not for the first time he wondered what they would taste like. “Don’t worry - I’ve got very strong legs.” 

“Ha, I don’t know if they can handle _this_ noggin though,” he laughed feebly. “Did I ever mention-“ 

“Alistair,” Reilyn interrupted him. 

“Yeeees?” 

“Relax. I don’t bite.” 

Alistair blinked at her before complying - her expression was completely unreadable. Finally, he let out an exasperated sigh and lay back down, this time tentatively resting his head on her lap. 

“My friends and I would practice this when we had headaches in the Circle,” she began to explain. 

Alistair looked up at her. Reilyn’s eyebrows were furrowed as she thought of the task at hand and placed her hands on his head again. He couldn’t help but watch her concentrate, enjoying the way strands of hair from her loose bun fell over her face. He was not sure how he managed it, but he somehow resisted the temptation to sweep it out of her eyes. 

“What was it like, in the Circle?” He asked conversationally. 

The smile she gave him made his head feel light. Or maybe that was the magic she was weaving around him. In any case, she began to speak to him of her life at the Circle, her voice a quiet and melodic hum that eased him into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

 

He woke just before dawn and was confused as to why his arms and legs were cold. But a tickling sensation on his scalp made him freeze. 

Alistair opened his eyes to see that he must’ve fallen asleep with his head still in Reilyn’s lap. One of her hands was in his hair, her fingers threaded through and stroking gently, subconsciously. In the other hand, out of the corner of her eye, Alistair watched as she cast spell after spell - a glowing orb, or a fist of fire. 

He stayed still, enjoying this peace as long as he could until she noticed he was awake. With a start, she pulled her hand away, and part of him was disappointed she had done so with such haste. _Wait…_ i _s she blushing?_

“Oh! You’re awake!” She stammered. 

He grinned at her before sitting up. “Sorry, didn’t mean to fall asleep.” 

She recovered quickly. “Are my stories of Circle life that boring?” 

“I...” he fumbled for words, tempted to utter another stupid joke. Instead, he simply said: “Thank you Reilyn.” And he meant it, more than she could ever know. 

The mage tilted her head. “Please, you can call me Rei.” 

There was that feeling again: the tightness in his chest. “Well, thank you Rei. My head hasn’t felt this light in weeks.” 

“Don’t let Morrigan hear you say that: she’ll have all sorts of taunts in response,” Reilyn chuckled. “And you’re welcome - you can make it up to me by covering my watch tonight, seeing as you fell asleep during yours.” 

He stood and reached a hand down to help her to her feet. “Only if you join me.” 

A moment of silence, and he thought he had been far too bold. But then her cool hand slipped into his.

“Alright.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments and kudos loved <3 My first attempt at writing Alistair...


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